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Letting Go Leads to Inner Flowering

~ be free by letting go ~

Mar 19, 2012
Ashok Nalamalapu

Have you ever suffered while brooding over something thathappened, or something that someone said? Have you brooded over a broken relationship? If so, you are not the only one.

Like most, I have had those experiences. I have brought on hurtby holding on too long to something that was not in my best interest. In such a situation, it can have an impact on one’s energy level, and on one’s professional and personal life as well. Time helped me to heal. By being compassionate, I did not react negatively. I was able to return to my own center, with the help of friends, yoga, and meditation.

Waite Maclin, a retired psychotherapist, said, “When it comes torelationships, letting go primarily means awareness that I cannot control another. That each person is their own person and holding on is trying to control the other.” *

People or events hurt only once. We hurt ourselves over and overby reliving the hurt and losing our balance. Maclin said, “If I grieve more than needed, then I am putting myself in the center of the universe rather than the experience of the death of someone, or the death of a relationship. I make it all about me.”

After grieving briefly, by letting go of the situation, we willget back on track. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Our greatest glory is not never falling, but it is rising every time we fall.”

We suffer because of our attachments to people and material.People do things because of their ignorance and immaturity. By brooding, we let it hurt us because of our ignorance and immaturity; weproduce acids that create ulcers and spoil our health; we let our body become a vessel of acid.

Remember that between the hater and hated, it is always the haterwho gets hurt more. While our hatred may not hurt others, it certainly gives us sleepless nights and spoils our health and peace.

We must not let any person or event spoil our equanimity. If welet that person or event disturb our peace, that means we value that person or event more than our peace. We must be at the seat of our peace of mind. When we let go of the person or event that caused the disturbance, we make our body a plant of beautiful fragrant flowers. When we let go of the source of our hurt, we experience inner flowering. When we are at peace, we share that fragrance and beauty with others. On the other hand, we can keep self-destructing like a vessel filled with acid.

Whenever a painful memory of a person or event resurfaces in ourmind, we need to ask ourselves whether we want to make our body a vessel of acid or a plant of fragrant flowers. In such situations, Maclin says to himself aloud, “Just stop it, Waite!  Just stop it!” He adds, “These words help because if I am not active in trying to let go then I don’t do it. If I just try to do it in my mind, it will be hard. Brooding is almost like an addiction. This addiction interrupts personal, financial, emotional and spiritual life.”

We need to acknowledge the pain and move on.

Every person or thing is changing all the time. You see, bylooking at a lamp, we think that it is the same flame all the time. When we observe closely, we realize that the flame is changing every moment. By holding on to the past, we keep putting more and more acid in the vessel rather than pouring oil in the lamp for continuous light.

Pains and pleasures are real. However, suffering is optional. Wemust learn to let go. Let go of anything and everything that disturbs our peace. By letting go, we become free from bondage. We become free from suffering. We become a source of energy for others as well.  Let us be free by learning to “let go” and to be a source of joy for us and people around us.

* (All quotes listedabove are paraphrased and are not exact.)

Ashok Nalamalapu is the President of iCST, an IT Staffing and Software Testing company. He can be reached at or (207) 772-6898. He also serves at Sadhana, a Spiritual Center.

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