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Moments of Love

Mar 17, 2012
Peter Falkenberg Brown

How dreadful and painful are the words, “I do not feelloved.”

With these words, our breath seems to stop. Our lifeimplodes, and hope dies. Some people feel that way all the time, and have felt unloved for so long that they have become brittle and old, in spirit and in heart.

I would wager that everyone has felt unloved at least oncein their life. I know that I have. In fact, I used to say that when I was growing up I was convinced that no one loved me, and everyone disliked me. I would retreat to my room and read book after book, experiencing joy through the lives of the heroes and heroines of the past. I retreated into what I now call “my turtle shell”.

I’m quite sure that love was far more present than I realized.I want to acknowledge all those who did love me, even if I didn’t notice.

I’ve begun to realize that for me, the operative word is “notice”.

I believe that we are frequently unaware that we aresurrounded by moments of love. Yes, it is true that human life is also filled with suffering, some of it extreme and hellish. It is not for nothing that our lives have been described as “the vale of tears” and “the bitter sea”. We cannot ignore the suffering of others, just as we find it difficult to escape from our own suffering.

Conversely, isn’t it possible to feel miserable in themidst of plenty and privilege and blessings? If you’re not sure if this true, ask a teenager. Unhappiness and misery come in many forms, and yet, the experience of feeling loved can liftus from the mud in an instant.

The operative word is “notice”.

If we don’t notice love when it is given, then to us, lovewas not expressed. If we not only notice moments of love, but remember those moments, our lives becomeweighted with storehouses of treasure that can bring us an overwhelming feeling of joy.

Expressions of love can take many forms, and therein liesthe rub. Love is attractive to us because it means that the other person feels love for us. We feel appreciated and valued because wereceived and noticed their expression of love.

An expression of genuine love is a free gift to us. Thus,one could say that noticing moments of love in our lives expands as we increase our awareness of the gifts that are given to us on a daily basis. We are given gifts by people, sometimes very small gifts that we don’t consider important.

I once met a group of missionaries in a parking lot, andwas surprised when an older gentlemen wrapped his little finger around mine, and just held it for a moment. I didn’t know him, and haven’t seen him since, but I shall never forget the warmth of his kindness that I felt that day.

I believe that beauty is an expression of love, whether it’sbeauty created by humans, or by God. I love nature, not only because it is beautiful, but because I believe it is an expression of God’s love for me, and for every human being.

Every day, I go outside and touch the bark of the tree inour front yard, and whisper a greeting to “King Alfred the Oak”. Yes, I named him. Why not? I love that oak tree, standing handsome and straight and dignified. I think he’s a very kingly oak. When I touch his bark, I feel his love, and most of all, I feel God’s love, since it was God, after all, that designed such glorious things as trees. At least, that’s what I believe.

When I touch his bark, and breathe, with him, I experiencea moment of love. I notice it, and I receive it, and I shall indeed remember it. Edith Sitwell, the 20thcentury British poet, wrote in her poem, “How Many Heavens ...”, from her volume, The Canticle of the Rose:

The emeralds are singing on thegrasses
And in the trees the bells ofthe long cold are ringing,--
My blood seems changed toemeralds like the spears
Of grass beneath the earthpiercing and singing.

The flame of the first blade
Is an angel piercing through theearth to sing
“God is everything!
The grass within the grass, theangel in the angel, flame
Within the flame, and He is thegreen shade that came
To be the heart of shade.”

In the text, the OxyrhynchusPapyri, from the Apocryphal NewTestament, it was attributed to Christ that he said, “Lift up the stone andthere shalt thou find me: cleave the wood, and I am there.”

I certainly believe that God can be found inthat stone, and wood; and in the grass, the trees, and in the shy little birds hopping down a Manhattan street where I greeted them one morning on the way to work. There were three of them, exploring the gutter for crumbs, ignoring the crush of people that were too busy to notice them.

Noticing things, and picking the wheat from the chaff ofour daily experience, will increase our delight and enthusiasm with our lives. Do we wake up and feel enthusiastic, the word that means “inspired by God”? One way to become more inspired is to notice the moments of love and beauty that we find in unexpected places.

One day I sat down to read a book about money. Yes, that subject. To my great surprise, deepin the pages of The Trick to Money isHaving Some!, by Stuart Wilde, was the paragraph:

To make every little thingspecial is to grant a magical quality to your life. Once your life becomes charmed in such a way, whatever blocks you may have experienced in the past melt in the light of that inner energy pouring from your heart.

To make everylittle thing special, and to receive every moment of beauty as an expression and moment of love, seems to me to be a very good idea indeed.

Moments of love are very powerful, because they are notlost. Pete A. Sanders wrote, in his book Youare Psychic! The Free Soul Method:

Science tells us that every rayof light that has ever shone is still shining somewhere in the universe. The same is true of all types of vibration. ... Every event, thought, interaction, or desire radiates a complex series of energies and frequencies that are still resonating somewhere.

We may not have noticed many instances of love in ourlives, as I did not when I was growing up, lonely and isolated in my room. One day, when I was seventeen, as I looked out of my window, I realized that I had no friends because I hadn’t cared for people when they needed friendship. It was a humbling wake up call for me, onethat I’m still trying to answer, many years later.

We may not have noticed the love and beauty that surroundsus. We may be living in a hellish environment. We may not feel love from anyone at all. Yet, is there a sunset that we can see? A tree that we can breathe under? A tiny bird that we can say hello to?

We may have to look very, very hard, at first, to noticethe smallest, briefest moment of love. When we do, we can know, absolutely know, that where there was one moment, there will be two, and then three, until we feel as if our life is an extended moment that never, ever ends.

It is a mathematical certainty that numbers are infinite.There is always one more moment of love. Always.

Peter Falkenberg Brown is passionate about writing, publishing, public speaking and film. He hopes that someday he can live up to his favorite motto: “Expressing God’s kind and compassionate love in all directions, every second of every day, creates an infinitely expanding sphere of heart.”

~ Deus est auctor amoris et decoris. ~

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